APHORISMS

APHORISMS


A CONCISE SAYING EMBODYING A GENERAL TRUTH, OR ASTUTE OBSERVATION.

THE TERM WAS FIRST USED IN THE APHORISMS OF HIPPOCRATES, ONE OF THE EARLIEST COLLECTIONS.


1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important. They demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than a teenage boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 am – it could be the right number.

12. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

13. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.

14. Before reading the fine print – understand that you're not going to like it.

15. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

16. In about 40 years, we'll have thousands of little old ladies running around with body piercings and sagging tattoos in strange places… (And rap music will be considered the Golden Oldies!)

17. Money may not buy happiness – but I’d rather cry in a Cadillac than in a Yugo.

18. Always be yourself; the people who matter don’t mind and the ones that mind don’t matter.

19. After 60, if you wake up and nothing hurts – check your pulse.

20. Life may not be tied with a bow … but it’s still a gift.